Maulana Wahiduddin Khan I Times of India I June 8, 2011 | Page 20
Everyday people face negative experiences. Whether of greater or lesser import, people generally like to dwell on these negative experiences. Once this becomes a habit, it has a negative effect. Then unpleasant experiences become a part of their active memory, till it becomes a jungle of negativity. So it is best to forget these kinds of sad events.
In your case, whatever happened was beyond your control, but it is in your hands to forget it and prevent it from becoming a part of your memory. If others are not ready to take your advice on this, you had better become its first follower.
What is education? Education is not just the means of making you a degree holder; it is the gateway to the art of living. Education enables you to think, to discover the principles of life, and to correctly evaluate your experiences. Education gives you the ability to know the difference between the achievable and unachievable. If you are an educated person in this sense, you will certainly discover the value of the habit of forgetting.
The choice in this context is not between forgetting and not forgetting: the real choice is between living with all kinds of bitter memories and totally freeing yourself from them. Try to forget unpleasant memories, for the alternative to this is living in bitterness and that is not a good choice for anyone.
The habit - of forgetting - leads you to many good things. It saves you from distraction, it economises your energy, it prevents you from wasting your time, and it shields you from negative thoughts. All these things are so important for a better life that any sacrifice to achieve it is certainly worth it.
In life your share is only 50%. The rest of the 50% is supplied by others. Living with bitter memories means that you are not ready to accept this law of nature. You cannot change the law of nature, so change yourself. This will give you the gift of a comfortable life in every situation.
If you are not ready to forget what is forgettable, then after sometime you will become addicted to this habit. Bitter memory is fed by bad experiences and so you tend to recall them everyday. This is a very bad sign. This will create a permanent obstacle to the development of your personality.
Of the two kinds of memories, good and bad, the former gives you energy, while the latter ruins your life. You have to appreciate this difference and try to live with good memories and forget the bad memories. This habit will help you achieve a good human life.
Memory is an integral part of your mind. There is no escape from memory. The only option is to try not to make memory a part of your conscious mind, but relegate it to the unconscious mind. And the forgetting habit serves that very purpose. We cannot delete our memory from our minds, but we can make it ineffective by storing it in the memory archives.
Memory when good is a positive guide, and when bad, totally negative. You have to control your memory rather than be controlled by it. Make your memory your intellectual storehouse and not the master of your daily conduct.