Maulana Wahiduddin Khan | Speaking Tree Blog | March 21, 2022
I once happened to meet a businessman who confided to me that formerly he had been in the habit of very generously giving his assistance to others. However, he had now stopped this practice, as he found that no one acknowledged the contribution he made, except by way of lip service. This experience had been a disappointing one for him and, as a result, he stopped helping others. I told him that there was an old saying: Neki kar aur darya mein daal. (Do good deeds and cast them into the river), that is, forget the good works you have performed. I explained to him that what he had experienced was not the story of just a handful of people but was rather the common experience of the majority. Therefore, the best formula is to do charity for your own inner satisfaction and not for receiving acknowledgment from others.
Charity does not just entail one’s giving money to some needy person. There are many ways to help others – being the well-wisher of others, giving good advice to others, speaking only good of others, never taking revenge, living in society as a civic-minded person – all these are ways of being of help to others. Helping others is, in reality, helping oneself. This is because activity of this kind inspires positive thinking in the one who performs it and results in the better development of one’s personality. It makes one a giver-member of society. Good behaviour towards individuals helps one to behave well towards society at large.
It is a law of nature that everyone is born with his own interests at heart. But, self-interest has its minus as well as its plus points. On the plus side, it is self-interest that works as a motivating force in the human world. Without self-interest all activities would come to a halt. This is the contributing aspect of self-interest. But there is a minus point of self-interest. When a person does something purely out of self-interest, it is but natural that he would at all events very much like to take credit for whatever it is that he has done. It is this phenomenon of human nature, which is good for himself but bad for the recipient of his good deed.
The fact is that this phenomenon is due to the law of nature, and when it comes to the law of nature, one has no option but to accept it. One has to accept that this is the immutable reality. If one adopts a realistic approach to this problem, it will give an instant benefit. That is, it will make one tension-free and positive. In contrast to this, if a person reacts, he will have to pay a double price: first, in terms of the sad experience he will have of the external world and second, in terms of his own internal stress.
One should save oneself and try to live with courage in a world full of disappointments. There are few other options for anyone in this world.