Happiness is a state of mind; it is not the result of material growth. People have wrongly associated it with progress; the aim of civilisation was not happiness. It was to give us some more amenities. Change your mind and you will be able to change your life for the better.
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Personality Development
In daily life, we keep developing complaints about other people. What is the formula for saving oneself from this complaining mind-set?
My formula is, ‘Save yourself.’ This is the only formula and there is no other formula. This has been given in the Hadith, Alaika nafsat (Baihaqi) Save yourself.
What is distraction? What we call distraction some people say it is a necessity like mobile phone or even wife and children.
This is distraction that thinking sets out on a different pattern. Quran clearly says that children are a problem whereas you claim that it is a blessing. Nowhere does the Quran say that children are a blessing! People have developed self-styled notions and say that it is religion. Distraction is anything, which takes your attention away from your goal (God-orientedness and realization of God).
My sister is in depression thinking negative about everyone and everything. How should I handle her?
In general, I can say that normally people think that they should want an ideal life. A woman wants an ideal husband and an ideal family etc. which is not possible in this world. If this law of nature is understood, there will not be any such stress. I read in the newspaper that Shahrukh Khan travelled to America and for two hours he was detained and checked. People created a lot of hue and cry that Americans should seek forgiveness.
Why is it that such few people are sincere today?
Speaking Tree| TOI | April 2, 2011
That is because people are not ready to pay the price for sincerity. The price for sincerity is saving oneself from unnecessary distractions. Sincerity is the result of a developed mind. Save yourself from avoidable distractions and you will be able to develop sincerity.
How can one avoid a negative response and stay in a positive frame of mind?
Speaking Tree | TOI | May 8, 2011
The main reason for negativity is our complex. People suffer from all kinds of complexes, such as prejudice and envy. Free yourself of these feelings and you will be able to come up with a positive response in all kinds of situations. A negative reaction is an emotional reaction, while a positive response is a rational response. A negative response pulls you down, while a positive response produces healthy results.
How can one acquire the courage to admit one’s mistake?
Speaking Tree | TOI | May 8, 2011
People are hesitant to say, ‘I was wrong’, because they believe it’s an admission of their mistake before another person; they are not ready to do that. But it’s not just a question of admitting your mistake; it is also a question of accepting the reality. Accepting reality leads to intellectual growth; it raises your intellectual level. When you say, ‘I was wrong,’ you are helping your own intellectual progress.
How can a ruffled ego be pacified?
Speaking Tree | TOI | May 8, 2011
You can pacify it by exercising patience. Patience is not a passive attitude. Patience is another name for controlled behaviour. You have to control your feelings rather than be controlled by them. This is an elevated intellectual exercise. Do not succumb to your emotions and you will be able to manage the situation quite easily.
We thought civilisation will bring us happiness. But that hasn’t happened. Why?
Speaking Tree| TOI | April 2, 2011
Happiness is a state of mind; it is not the result of material growth. People have wrongly associated it with progress; the aim of civilisation was not happiness. It was to give us some more amenities. Change your mind and you will be able to change your life for the better.