Maulana Wahiduddin Khan's blog

The Art of Failure Management in marriage lies in not looking at marriage as something ideal, but as a practical matter and then accepting one’s partner the way he or she is. People generally tend to measure their partners by an ideal yardstick, and when they do not measure up to their expectations, they tend to think that they have not found their ideal soul mate. This happens both in the case of a husband and a wife, and so both partners fail to experience the joys of their union.

A negative feeling such as anger flares up on its own. But, in its initial stage,it remains within a certain limit. And it crosses this limit only when anger is allowed to intensify. The law of nature regarding negative feelings is that it gets activated for only about 30 seconds, and if it is checked, it gets defused like a balloon. Therefore, if a person checks his anger, and does not allow it to person,
the negative feeling will ebb away naturally, without there being any negative outcome.

As a man is egoistic by nature, and a woman emotional, they can often be at loggerheads with each other due to their differences. This difference cannot be obliterated. The only solution to this problem is that, when a man’s ego flares up, the woman should keep her calm; and when the woman becomes emotional and loses her temper, the man must keep likewise calm. They should not give in to reactions of any kind. This is the only solution to this situation.

The greatest thing for man to target in this world is the nurturing of a noble personality. One who does so is a real human being. Such is the individual considered desirable by God according to His creation plan.